Before you even think anything else, this is not what you think! ‘My First Time’ is currently a YouTube ‘tag’. For those who don’t know what a ‘tag’ is, it’s a video that a YouTuber will put up with questions or theme in it and then other people will do the same video using those questions or theme. If you still don’t understand that then go into YouTube and type ‘My First Time’ into the search bar and you’ll understand what I mean! However, I’m altering the questions so that it becomes a ‘My First Time: Mental Health Edition’ and obviously it is a blog post rather than a YouTube Video! So here it goes:
First time I knew something was wrong
I can’t pinpoint an exact date for this however I know it was in the winter of first year. I passed it off as being home sick at the time but I worried constantly about ridiculous little things and it also marks the time when I stopped going out clubbing and drinking as much. Things didn’t stay rubbish, they actually seemed to get a lot better around the February/March time but then the May exam period that year was dreadful and the point when other people seemed to notice something wasn’t quite right.
First time I told somebody something was wrong
I came home during exams and told two of my close friends at home how terrible I was feeling. My best friend at university had noticed and so had my mum but I don’t actually remember telling either of them quite how bad it was. I just didn’t know how to be happy. I put it down to exam stress and enjoyed a lovely summer!
First time I got help
I had a Panic Attack in an exam in January this year and had to be taken out of it. I couldn’t sit the exam and I was forced into going to the doctors for a letter so that I could sit the exam again in the summer. I know that I wouldn’t have gone at this point if I hadn’t had a reason like this to go so in hindsight it is probably a good thing that that embarrassing experience did happen! This was the point where I was put on medication and referred for counselling however it got a lot worse before it got any better!
First time Mental Health affected my everyday life
I guess you could say that not being able to do an exam because of a Panic Attack comes under this category, however I would say that it was a couple of weeks after that happened. I stayed in bed all day because I just couldn’t muster the energy or motivation to get out of it. You may think that this is very student like but it’s not very me like! That is the first time it affected my everyday life!
First Panic Attack
The day before the Panic Attack in the exam was the first Panic Attack that I recognised as one. However, I now realise that I’ve had a few in the past when I’ve been in a rowdy place or there has been lots of alcohol around, I was just mistaking them for problems with Asthma. They started just before I left for university, almost 2 years ago.
First CBT session
I did an online version of CBT and I started that in March. It takes a while to be referred and to go through a waiting list for therapies like this. I was very lucky how quickly I went through it all but it came at just the right time because February was a bit of a write off for me, I had no inclination to do anything – I was just depressed.
First time I went the night without sleeping
I got diagnosed with Insomnia a couple of weeks into February but the first time I actually went a night without sleeping was the night before a mid-term test back in November last year. It is not a pleasant experience; the mid-term or the sleepless night!
First time I blogged about Mental Health
11/5/13. Only 3 months ago. And quite frankly the reaction and support I’ve received after starting this blog has been completely unexpected. I’ve had people tweet me saying ‘Well done’ and friends text me saying how brave they think it is. I’ve also had people I haven’t talked to in a long time message me, which has been lovely. So thank you to all of those people and to everybody that has read this blog up until now!
First time I did a First Time
6/8/13. I’ll probably do a few of these because I have a whole list of ‘First Time…’ statements which I didn’t include in this one. Also if you have any statements of your own then leave them in the comments below or tweet them to me!